PhD: just keep pushing on! 你一定要加油啊
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I remember back in mid-2020 when I started applying for Ph.D. positions in the USA. My brain had this vague idea – I wanted to find a lab in the US to do research, and, oh boy, it better have funding! At that point, I was like, "What the heck am I gonna do?" and "What the heck do I want to do?" Seriously, my brain was going "knock, knock, knock" in confusion! But hey, I got to work preparing anyway. Throughout the application process, thanks to some wild twists of fate, I chatted with a whole bunch of people, from professors, classmates, industry pros, to some super cool online buddies. There was this one user from Douban (kind of like a Chinese social media platform) that I vividly remember. I was feeling super down, and they told me:
"Hey, hang in there! Sometimes you don’t really feel the urge to do something. In those moments, don’t let your heart make the decision because the heart can get so tired. Use your noggin! Do something you won’t regret when you think back. As time goes by and you start gaining a thing or two, your heart will perk right up and feel all sorts of happy."
Their words hit me right in the feels because, honestly, I was running on empty motivation-wise. But, I powered through. Time was tight (especially with graduation reviews looming), but I was all hands on deck. I drafted documents and even hired a proofreading expert to help me tweak the content and grammar. Little by little, through these edits, I kinda discovered myself, if you know what I mean, and figured out how to show off my strengths and what I truly wanted (a skill I like to call "how to paint a picture of awesomeness"). My application to the US eventually hit a wall due to some Geopolitics drama, but I’m super grateful to everyone who had my back during that time. They kept me going. Big shoutout to myself too for enduring through graduation deadlines and review pressures. With that experience in my pocket, applying in Europe wasn’t that soul-crushing ordeal.
The application process is a marathon, not a sprint! Beyond your skills, luck, planning, and some seriously quick typing (I mean, have you seen the pile of forms you gotta fill for US colleges?), what's key is hanging in there. The former aspects? Well, they are what they are. The latter, perseverance, that’s my jam right now. Kinda like how this article I found, , points out. At the end of the day, only those who stick it out till the end get the big "O" (Offer, duh!). The same goes for a Ph.D. journey. Looking back now, as a Ph.D. student, the whole application thing is so darn convoluted and overwhelming that most applicants probably scare themselves off halfway. Even though my Ph.D. application journey came to a conclusion, I wanna tell my future Ph.D.-grinding self: "When your heart feels worn out, use your noggin, stick with it using every trick in the book. Do things you won’t regret. At some point, when you least expect it, you’ll strike gold, and your heart will do the happy dance!"
In comparison, getting to the final achievement is just the cherry on top! 🍒🍰
我记得我2020年年中刚刚开始申请USA的Ph.D.职位的时候，脑袋只有一个空泛的想法——要找一个美国的Lab做研究，要有funding的。那时候我不知道自己会做什么，也不知道自己想要做什么。真是敲脑门咚咚咚的可怕状态！不管怎么样，还是先做着准备了。申请过程中我因为各种机缘巧合有和很多人聊起来这个事情，既有老师同学业内人士，也有好多热心的网友。其中，我有一位特别记得的豆瓣网友，我当时很沮丧，那时候这位网友对我说：
你要加油哇！有时候你并不是有冲动去做一件事情 这时候你就不要让心去做决定 因为心真的好累 这时候用脑子做决定就好啦！做一件你想起来不会后悔的事情；然后当你慢慢地得到了一些 或者收获了一些 你的心就会慢慢活过来了 然后它就会感觉开心的
我特别感动，因为我当时最缺的就是那种冲劲。于是我继续做下去，时间真的很紧张（刚好遇到毕业送审），但是我真的很努力调动我所有的资源。我自己整理文书，然后找的润色专家帮我修改内文和文法。逐渐逐渐我在各种修改中学会了如何介绍自己的优势（算是发现了自己？），和如何表达自己想要的和追求的（如何画大饼）。美国的申请虽然最后因为Geopolitics 的缘故告吹，但我还是特别感激当时帮助我的各路友人。他们让我坚持了下来。我也特别感谢我自己，能在各种毕业deadline和送审压力情况下熬到最后。有了这一次经验，后来EUR的申请就没有那么痛不欲生了。
申请是个漫长的过程，除了实力、运气、统筹还有手速（in case 你得填一大堆表格如果申请美国的大学）之外，更重要的是要坚持下来。前者就放在那儿了，是那样就是那样，我拿它们也没有办法，只有后者是现在我能做的。也就像一样，申请说到底也是只有坚持到最后的人才能拿到Offer，何况PhD本身也是如此。现在从PhD Student的视角回过头去看，因为整个申请的过程很复杂、繁琐而且没有头绪，其实大部分Applicants 在中途都已经被自己吓坏逃走了。虽然PhD申请真的是到一段落，但是我还是想跟之后在念PhD的自己说：有时候心真的好累，但是只要你用理智坚持做下去，用所有办法，做不要后悔的事情，到某个时刻突然有所收获，心就会活过来的！
相比之下，坚持到所获得最后的成果不过是一个附加产物罢了！